187 words by a whitespace count. This teaching example has an AI-estimated band, not an official examiner score. Read the commentary, then attempt the question yourself.
“The table shows the share of daily commutes by mode of transport in three cities in 2020.”Model answer
187 wordsP1The table shows the share of commuters using each of four modes of transport (car, public transport, bicycle and on foot) in three cities.
P2Overall, Los Angeles was heavily dominated by car use, Tokyo relied overwhelmingly on public transport, while Amsterdam had the most even distribution across all four modes, with cycling accounting for Amsterdam's largest share.
P3In Los Angeles, 78% of commuters travelled by car, which was more than three times the share recorded in Amsterdam (22%) and more than six times that in Tokyo (12%). Conversely, public transport accounted for 60% of commutes in Tokyo, compared with just 23% in Amsterdam and only 9% in Los Angeles.
P4Amsterdam's commute pattern was notably more balanced. Cycling was used by 34% of Amsterdam commuters, the highest figure for that mode across the three cities. Walking was also comparatively common in Amsterdam at 21%, slightly above Tokyo's 14% and Los Angeles's 12%. Cycling in Los Angeles, at just 1%, was negligible by comparison. Together, these figures show three different commuting patterns, ranging from high car use in Los Angeles to a more even split across modes in Amsterdam.
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Points to review
The second paragraph focuses only on car and public transport; a brief acknowledgement of walking in Tokyo there would slightly strengthen cross-paragraph cohesion.