159 words by a whitespace count. This teaching example has an AI-estimated band, not an official examiner score. Read the commentary, then attempt the question yourself.
“The pie chart shows the share of global primary energy consumption by source in 2020.”Model answer
159 wordsP1The pie chart shows the distribution of global primary energy consumption by source in 2020.
P2Overall, fossil fuels dominated consumption by a considerable margin, collectively accounting for the vast majority of energy use, while nuclear energy represented the smallest share of the five sources.
P3Oil was the leading energy source, making up 31% of global consumption. Coal followed closely at 27% and gas accounted for 25%, meaning that the three fossil fuels combined represented 83% of total primary energy. Although these three sources led the chart, the margin between them was relatively narrow, with only six percentage points separating oil from gas. The remaining two sources together accounted for 17% of consumption.
P4Renewables accounted for 12% of consumption, more than twice the 5% contribution from nuclear energy, which represented the smallest share in the chart. Taken together, renewables and nuclear made up 17% of global primary energy, compared with 83% for the three fossil fuels in the same year.
Write your answer in the exam workspace and see how your four marks compare to the model’s.
Logical paragraph structure moving from largest to smallest groupings.
Now you
Reading a model ≠ writing one. Attempt the same question now, then review your feedback alongside this example.
Write it nowAI-estimated criteria
Points to review
The combined 17% share is repeated; one occurrence could be shortened while keeping the key comparisons.