185 words by a whitespace count. This teaching example has an AI-estimated band, not an official examiner score. Read the commentary, then attempt the question yourself.
“The bar chart shows the female labour force participation rate in four countries in 2010 and 2020.”Model answer
185 wordsP1The bar chart compares female labour force participation rates in four countries in 2010 and 2020.
P2Overall, Sweden had the highest participation rate in both years, while Italy recorded the lowest. Sweden, Japan and Italy showed increases over the decade, while the USA recorded a decline.
P3In 2010, Sweden led at 58.98%, closely followed by the USA at 57.52%. Japan and Italy trailed with figures of 48.34% and 37.88% respectively. By 2020, Sweden had risen modestly to 60.59%, while Japan recorded the largest increase of the group, climbing from 48.34% to 53.09%, a rise of nearly five percentage points. This gain allowed Japan to narrow the gap with the USA, which actually fell slightly from 57.52% to 55.7% over the same period.
P4Italy remained at the bottom throughout, inching up from 37.88% to 39.5%. The gap between Italy and Sweden barely changed, narrowing from 21.10 percentage points in 2010 to 21.09 points in 2020. Japan's notable rise stands out as the most significant change, while the USA's slight decline was the only case where participation moved in the opposite direction to the general upward trend.
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Effective use of comparison language: 'closely followed by', 'trailed', 'narrow the gap', 'inching up'.
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Points to review
Could note the Italy-to-Japan gap in absolute terms to provide one more cross-country comparison.